Part 16: What matters most

Partnership Pocketbook

Hi everyone and welcome to another issue of the Partnership Pocketbook.

Been having a lot of conversations recently with partnership leaders that are worried.

Worried about a lot of things.

The recession.

Having to scale back their teams.

Uncertainty about where the next cut is going to come.

It's taking a toll on a lot of leaders mentally.

Therefore this issue is going to go a little differently.

It's not necessarily going to teach you anything on how to create a partnership program, or any tactical tips on how to co-market with partners, or really anything tactical at all.

Instead it's going to be on how to deal with things mentally when times get tough.

Something that I haven't fully managed to do myself, but I think I have learnt enough that hopefully it will help somebody that is reading this.

I hope you’ll still get value from this.

It was cathartic writing it.

But before we dive into things, I can’t skip out on “Partnerships in the Wild”.

This one comes on the heels of Black Friday / Cyber Monday, and is an Ecom partnership that I love!

This one comes from the behemoth of ecosystems, Shopify.

When checking out their integrations I came across this one

https://apps.shopify.com/joyio.

This integration enables Shopify stores to easily create custom loyalty programs that keep customers coming back.

As we well know in the world of partnerships, a good referral is worth its weight in gold. Therefore, having a tool that rewards social shares, repeat purchases, and incentivizing actions can result in additional business.

Now, time to get a bit serious.

To begin, I should probably start by explaining my own journey with mental health.

I think the first time I truly experienced issues with my mental health was my final year at university, when the stress of my law exams, coupled with a long distance relationship resulted in some dark times.

I wasn't sleeping very well.

I didn't want to see people.

I didn't want to go out.

All I could think about was the impending doom that was coming from my law exam. I was convinced I was going to fail, and was convinced that this failure was going to result in a sliding spiral into a life that would go nowhere.

Crazy right?

Maybe.

Your mind can do funny things.

The good news is that I passed my law exam, and my mental health improved shortly after as I was able to go back to being a normal human being, sleeping well, using the gym and finally getting to see Tiff (who is now my wife).

So has that anxiety and occasional depression disappeared?

No.

In fact over the years it has come back in peaks and troughs.

Now I am deep into my professional career. It comes back with a vengeance occasionally,  manifesting as self doubt, feeling that I am not good enough, the list goes on.

So what are some helpful exercises that I have learnt throughout the years that help me?

Let me share them with you here, in the hopes that the next time you feel similar to me, they might be able to help you.

📍 Tip 1: Remember how far you have come 📍

It’s easy to continuously compare yourself to others.

It's hard not to.

Social media is FULL of people showing how great their lives are.

How much money they have.

The fact that they made it to CEO by 25.

But you know what?

You have done some pretty incredible things too.

4 years ago I moved to America with no tech experience, now I am Director of Partnerships at a Tech company.

That alone is something I should be so proud of, but it's hard to forget in a world full of noise.

Remember how far you have come! I should get a poster to help remind me.

🙇 Tip 2: Use bad times as learning experiences 🙇

This one is a really tough one.

Bad times inherently don't feel good.

It means that something has gone wrong.

But the only time that these bad times can truly be bad times is when you let it beat you.

Been let go from your job? Think about all the opportunities that are out there for you now.

Didn’t close that big deal? Think about what you could have done better, and learn.

The next time you face that roadblock - you will be more equipped to face it and be better because of it.

💕 Tip 3: Think about what matters to you 💕

In thinking about this statement, I love to go back to the commencement speech CEO of Coca Cola, Bryan Dyson made at Georgia Tech, it goes like this:

In his speech, he asks the graduates to “imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some 5 balls in the air. You name them—work, family, health, friends, and spirit—and you’re keeping all of these in the air.” According to Dyson, each of these balls is made of glass—except for work, which is the sole rubber ball. If you drop any of the glass balls, they may be severely damaged or even shattered. In contrast, the “work” rubber ball could bounce back after being dropped. When striving for work/life balance, Dyson saw family, health, friends, and spirit each as things that possibly could never be fixed if you dropped the ball.

I have to admit, I am terrible at this.

I attach a lot of value to work and my success.

It's hard to shift this mindset.

I am trying.

If you ask me what TRULY matters to me.

• My wife
• My dog
• My family
• My friends
  

That's it!

Will they look at me differently, if I decided to chuck in tech and become a soccer coach (my secret dream)? No!

Re-center and remember what's important to you!

Anyway, I don't know if that helped anyone but it helped me to write it out.

At the very least I hope you reflect on how far you’ve come, growing through all difficult situations, and ultimately you identify and value what means the most to you!

I feel like given the current situation in the outside world and even in my own personal life, it was something I needed to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it does mean a lot.

Until next week!

Cheers,

Ben

*had to leave you with a picture of my dog to end it on a high note*